Six Months
by shadowblade-tara
Summary: A series of one-shots involving Joel, Ellie, and the first six months in Jackson. Three - Guitar lessons lead to new encounters, some good, others not so much.
1. a different kind of miracle

The Last of Us © Naughty Dog.

So I'm writing a multi-chap story for this fandom, and there's going to be a six month gap between the end of the game and the start of the fic. This is where I'm stashing one-shots that take place in those six months that are also referenced in the fic, starting with my take on how Ellie found out the truth about the Fireflies, and what exactly Joel's motivations were when he slaughtered them all.

 **A Different Kind of Miracle**

Almost as soon as Joel and Ellie have made it back to Jackson, Tommy has Joel in a conference room demanding the truth.

Honestly? Joel's too tired to lie. He's still too shaken, too worried about Ellie, too _everything_ to even think about lying to his brother. He's still surprised he managed to lie to Ellie about it. So, he takes a deep breath, leans against the wall, and starts talking.

Never mind that he's pretty positive Ellie is on the other side of that wall, her back pressed to his. If he focuses, he can almost hear her small, shallow breaths. He can't really keep lying to her, either, but – well, this is easier than trying to say it to her face. So, he takes a deep breath and begins.

"We found the Fireflies."

"And?"

Joel shakes his head. "Right before we found them – or they found us – Ellie nearly drowned. I was tryin' ta bring her back when they showed up and knocked my ass out cold. When I came around, Marline was there, tellin' me they'd brought her back and she was safe." He won't look at Tommy. He keeps his eyes to the ground, talking more to himself and to Ellie than to him. Ultimately, his opinion doesn't matter. "I wanted to see her. Marline wouldn't let me. Said she was bein' prepper for surgery and I was good to leave."

He thinks he hears a sound behind him, through that thin wall. _God, Ellie, please don't hate me for what I did._ "Couldn't figure out what the hell she was talkin' about. Always thought they just needed ta draw blood, you know? That's what Ellie thought. That's all she gave me the impression would happen."

 _When this is over, we can go wherever you want to._

 _Well, I'm not leaving without you. So, let's go get it done._

Tommy's eyes narrow. "Surgery isn't blood drawn."

"No." Joel almost chokes on a bitter laugh. "They had ta cut the fungus out of her – out of her brain. Tommy, they were gonna kill her, all on the off-chance they could make a vaccine." His hands are shaking now. He clenches them into fists to steady himself.

Tommy isn't stupid. He knows exactly what happened. "How many of them did you kill?"

"All of them." He even walked back through and made damn sure of that.

"Even Marline?"

That earns Tommy a glare. "What do you think? She would have just come after Elie again. I ain' lettin' that happen."

Tommy seems to consider that for a moment. "You sure you were saving Ellie?"

Joel's head snaps up. For the first time, he looks Tommy dead in the eye. "The hell are you talking about?" His voice is low and cold, and he thinks he might hear movement behind him.

Tommy doesn't seem concerned at all about the tone change. Ellie would be, though, Joel thinks with distant amusement, Ellie would know just how _dangerous_ that tone is. Tommy just takes a step forward, anger glinting in his eyes.

"The way I see it, you just sentenced all of us to death, just to save Sarah one last time."

Joel sees red.

He's not aware of the movement. The next thing he knows, he has Tommy pinned to the wall, arm against his throat, almost strangling the smaller man. He still has enough thought process left to realize he doesn't _actually_ want to kill his brother (no matter how much he wants to right now). There's movement behind him again, but he's only dimly aware of it.

"Ellie is not Sarah."

Tommy manages to free himself just enough to breathe properly again. Joel still has him pretty firmly pinned to the wall. "You sure about that?"

Joel snarls. "Listen ta me, Tommy – _Ellie is not Sarah._ Sarah's gone, and it hurts _every damned day_ , but I've made my peace with that. But Elie is _mine_ , and there ain' _shit_ in this world that's worth her life. You hear me?" He lets Tommy go and takes a step back. "I don' give a shit if you believe me or not. But I'll burn this whole fucking world down myself if it means keeping her safe."

For a long moment, Tommy and Joel simply look at each other. A small sound behind him breaks the moment.

"Holy shit, Joel."

He spins around. There's Ellie, standing just inside the door, eyes wide and tears tracking down her face. Joel's heart breaks. He kneels down, not willing to scare her, and suddenly Ellie is _in his arms_ and clinging to him for all she's worth, and he wraps his arms around her and buries his face in her neck.

She's still here. That's all that matters.

"Why did you lie to me?"

His voice is muted, but she can understand him. "I didn' want ta hurt ya, baby girl. I know Marline meant somethin' to ya." He takes a shuddering breath. "I'm sorry. They took that choice from ya, an' then I took it again."

Her grip on him tightens. Green eyes look past him, glaring at Tommy, as if he's the reason for the emotional turmoil of her guardian. "I'm still mad at you."

A quiet sigh. "I know."

"But – but you're right. I didn't know, and I don't want to die." That much she's absolutely certain of. Maybe, if she had known from the beginning, her opinion might be different. Maybe then she wouldn't have gotten attached to Joel, wouldn't have decided that he was worth building a life around. She probably would have told him, too, so he would have guarded himself a little better.

 _And then maybe it all would have burned to the ground anyway, because then winter happened, and after that –_

Well, after that, nothing was the same between them. It was better.

Joel stands up, but he doesn't let go of Ellie. He turns to face Tommy, still carrying the girl in his arms. "Ellie is _mine_."

Tommy nods. It's not approval, but it's understanding, and that's all Joel cares about. "Maria will show you to your home."

/-/

The first two weeks prove rough.

Ellie isn't inclined to talk much – to anyone, but especially to Joel – and Joel isn't inclined to push it. He speaks to her, greets her in the morning, asks her about her day and how she's settling in. She gives him short, basic answers, and he lets her get away with it. He seems to understand what she needs, and is more than willing to give it to her.

She just doesn't understand herself yet.

She's not mad. Not anymore. In fact, she's a little more concerned with how – _okay_ – she is about the entire thing.

She was supposed to be the cure. The key to saving everyone. Now she's not. Joel took that identity from her, but not before giving her a new one.

 _Ellie is mine._

She thinks she can be his. That's a good thing to be. Joel, despite everything _or maybe because of everything_ is a good man. She can make a life around this new identity if she can come to terms with it.

But coming to terms with it isn't as hard as she thought it would be.

Maybe she should be more concerned about what he did to save her – after all, that's mass murder – but she's not. Honestly, this is the man that tortured a few people and killed about a dozen others to find and save her that winter. It's really not surprising that he would continue with that level of brutality as far as her safety is concerned.

Honestly? She'd do the same for him.

If the roles were reversed, if she had to make the choice to save the world or save Joel –

How did he phrase it?

 _I'll burn this whole fucking world down myself._

So, on week three, she comes out of their room (she hates sleeping alone and so does he) and finds him preparing breakfast. It's not much, just bread and preserves with some juice, but it's more than they've had in over a year. He smiles at her.

"Sleep well?"

"Yeah." She approaches the table and leans over it, fixing him with a hard stare. "Hey, Joel?"

He pauses and sets the butter knife aside. "Yeah?"

"If I'm yours, does that make you mine?"

He smiles then. "Yeah, Ellie. Always has."

She considers him for a moment, then nods and grins. "Good. Gimme some bread – I'm fucking starving."

Joel laughs outright at that, even as he passes her a plate, and Ellie grins up at him. They both know it's forgiveness.

He's not really her dad, and she's not Sarah, and never will be. But honestly, just being _his_ and him being _hers_ is better than anything else. She doesn't want to replace Sarah.

She just wants to be his Ellie.

As long as she's his Ellie, and he's her Joel – well, that's all either of them will ever need in this world.


	2. hold on to what you can't lose

**Hold on to What You Can't Lose**

Jackson isn't sure what to make of their newest residents.

Tommy hears the murmuring and complaining. Most citizens here have kids – it's part of what drew them to Jackson in the first place – and they don't like the idea of two unknown people running around. Some of the younger parents are downright hostile towards Joel and Ellie. The older ones, the ones who have been around the block a time or two and know what surviving does to a person, just give them a wide enough berth and wait for them to settle in.

About a month in, Tommy doesn't know if that will happen.

He figured that Joel and Ellie's relationship would deteriorate in the aftermath of her finding out the truth. Instead, it just got stronger. They're rarely out of each other's company, and Tommy suspects they've been sharing a bed. The few times he's been over, he can tell the extra bedroom hasn't been used. He doesn't ask Joel about that. It's really not his place.

Still, anyone with eyes can tell they're severely codependent. Even in the mess hall, they're constantly checking for each other, never far enough away that a two-second search or a call of the name won't bring them back together.

They're also never unarmed. Joel carries his gun, but Tommy drew the line at allowing Ellie to carry her own. They both fought him on that one, but Tommy stood his ground (after all, he still had hopes then that Ellie might make some friends, and the gun would just get in the way of that). Still, he _knows_ Ellie is armed. He's seen her reach into her pocket every time she feels threatened – or feels like someone is threatening Joel.

Tommy hasn't quite figured out which one is worse yet.

At the end of week four, the _incident_ happens.

Tommy, miracle upon miracles, gets to watch the whole thing unfold. He sees Joel walk in to the mess hall, another man – one of the men that guard the wall, called Amos – hot on his heels. The conversation is low, quiet but clearly tense. Joel seems agitated, but isn't in the mood to have an argument. For once, Tommy doesn't see Ellie. She must be trailing a little bit behind.

Amos raises his voice. Tommy still can't hear what's being said, the mess hall is simply too loud, but Joel tenses up and says something that's clearly derogatory. Something draws his attention to the left, causing him to dismiss Amos completely, and that's when Amos _loses it._

The blow to the back of the head sends Joel staggering, but not by much. Still, it's enough, and Amos is smart enough to press his advantage.

He doesn't get far.

"JOEL!" Suddenly Ellie is _there_ , Amos is screaming in pain, and Ellie has found a perch on Amos's back, switchblade dug deep into his shoulder and being used to support her weight while she pummels his neck and head with small, brutal fists, swearing the entire time. Joel manages to get his feet back underneath him, but before either him or Tommy can react, Amos manages to pull Ellie off his back and throws her to the floor. She cries out at the impact.

The room holds its collective breath. In the space of time it takes Tommy to think _oh shit_ , Joel moves.

It's so fast no one can see exactly what happens, but it ends with Amos on his back, Ellie's switchblade plunged in to the hilt, and Joel's gun pressed between his eyes.

Amos whimpers.

Joel's voice is eerily calm when he speaks, but it rings out through the dead-silent mess hall. "You _ever_ touch my girl again, and I'll bury you. Understand me?" Tommy can barely see the other man nod. Joel seems to find this satisfactory and returns his gun to its holster. With a quick jerk, he pulls Ellie's switchblade from Amos's shoulder and stands up. Amos whimpers again.

No one speaks as Joel walks over to Ellie and pulls her to her feet. The pair don't say a word to each other, merely turn and walk back out the door, Ellie holding on to Joel's hand the entire time.

Tommy sighs. This is getting out of hand.

/-/

"I told ya I'm fine, Ellie." Joel sits on the living room floor, Ellie crouched behind him as she inspects his wound. She snorts.

"Yeah, tell that to the fucking knot on your head." she retorts. "Besides, you were fussing over some stupid bruises, so let me fuss over your thick head." Her fingers shake despite her harsh tone, and Joel merely sighs and lets her fuss.

The bruises across her shoulders are probably as bad as the knot on his head. Not anything that would slow them down outside, when they had nothing to rely on but each other, but that was a different scenario. The idea of an ally being the one to hurt his Ellie like that –

It infuriates him.

The front door opens. Ellie's hand immediately drops to the gun beside them, but then Joel hears Tommy's voice. "Just comin' to check on y'all." Ellie scoffs, but returns her attention to Joel. Tommy walks further in, but stops short of actually approaching the pair. Ellie's attention may be almost exclusively on Joel, and Tommy knows his big brother doesn't view him as a threat, but that's not to say Ellie won't. After that little demonstration, he's not taking any chances.

He decides to ask his questions from a distance. "Wanna tell me what happened?"

Ellie's fingers probe the bruised area. Joel makes it a point to not flinch. "I don't know. The damned teacher kept me over after classes, so I only caught what he did." She frowns. "You're gonna have a hell of a headache tomorrow."

"I already have one now." Joel grumbles. "Satisfied?" Ellie nods and finally sits down, parking herself right beside Joel. Joel merely looks up at Tommy, not bothering to stand up. "We really gonna do this now?"

Tommy nods. "Yep. Pretty much the whole town saw what you did. They're scared."

Ellie glares at him. "Why? That asshole attacked him first!"

"But they know Amos." Joel says quietly. "They don't know us. They'll side with him simply because of that."

"Exactly." Tommy sighs. "Don't get me wrong – Amos is an asshole, but he's a harmless asshole." He ignores Ellie's scoffing at that. "He's gotten into plenty of scrapes, and they've all been pissing contests. He wins, he brags, they never fight again. You understand?"

"Yeah, I get it. No danger to life or limb."

"Right. I know you've got the instincts to know that – "

"I do. But I ain't lettin' anyone get away with hurtin' Ellie."

That earns him an exasperated sigh. "Either way, he did start it. So what did he say?"

Ellie looks up at Joel, watching him consider his little brother. She's curious as well – after all, Joel's the one who suggested just keeping their heads down and sticking together until the place got used to them, but she _heard_ him tell Amos to fuck off – but that look on his face says she's not going to like what brought this on.

"First tell me this." Joel says abruptly. "What's this _adoption policy_ I keep hearing about?"

And suddenly Ellie knows.

"Joel, you have to understand – "

"I'm not leaving him." Ellie says abruptly. She presses herself closer to Joel's side, and he automatically wraps his arm around her shoulders. "You can't make me."

Tommy holds up his hands, stalling the impending blow-out. "The policy says that any child who comes to us with no parents can be adopted by a couple, if they want to be. Otherwise we have an orphanage of sorts where the kids can stay." He shakes his head. "It's not like a law or anything – just something to help out any kids we find. Most kids choose a family. And it's pretty common knowledge that you two aren't related."

Joel tightens his grip on Ellie. "Apparently. There's a family that wants her. Amos thought it was his place to give me his opinion on the matter."

"He insulted your ability to parent."

"Puttin' it mildly."

Tommy sighs. "I know you don't wanna hear this, but maybe you should let the family talk to her, Joel. Who knows – Ellie might just find a place here. It'll be good for her to at least explore the option."

Ellie's gaze snaps up to Joel, who simply looks at Tommy. For a brief moment, she fears he might agree. It's not a fear she can easily ignore. He might simply think it'll help her find friends (which she _doesn't want_ ) and then how far will it go?

Finally, Joel looks down at her. "What do you think?"

Her response is immediate. "No."

He nods. "All right. You got yer answer, Tommy. Now leave it alone."

"Joel –"

"Leave. It. Alone."

Even Tommy has to recognize the threat in that tone. He just nods and leaves the small house.

Ellie watches him go. "That's gonna be a problem, isn't it?"

Joel merely shakes his head. "Only if he makes it one." He looks down at her with a small smile. "You done prodding my head now?" She laughs and punches his arm, bad mood forgotten for now, which is exactly what Joel intends.

Ellie is his, and he is Ellie's. No one is going to change that.


	3. Guitar Lessons

**Guitar Lessons**

There's a music store in Jackson.

Joel finds it while patrolling the area with Tommy. He remembers what he told Ellie, and motions towards it with his gun. "Think they got anything good in there?"

Tommy shrugs. "That was always your thing, not mine." he says quietly. "If you wanna check it out, make it quick. We're expected back in a few hours." Joel merely nods and heads inside while Tommy guards the exit. It doesn't take long for him to find what he's after – two guitars, one small enough for Ellie to use, and some new(ish) strings. He puts the strings in his pocket and slings both guitars over his shoulder. Tommy just arches an eyebrow at his find.

"Gettin' bored already at the house?"

Joel flashes him a grin. "Promised Ellie I'd teach her how to play. She'll probably pester me into singing for her."

That earns him a chuckle from his little brother. "Yeah, you always were good at that. I'll bet that girl won't sit still long enough to learn how to play."

"Eh, even if she don't, it'll still be something."

/-/

Tommy is very, very wrong. Not only is Ellie more than thrilled with the idea of learning how to play, she's a natural at it. It doesn't take her long to pick up the basics, even with the guitar being out of tune (changing the strings didn't help, not that Joel thought it would). She loves it. She especially loves playing with Joel, so it becomes something of a habit for him to go out and find sheet music at the store while on patrol, or old records that they can learn to play by ear.

After the incident with Amos, the murmurings have stopped. The wall guards, however – the ones who know Amos best – think the whole thing is just damned funny. One of them, a man about ten years younger than Joel called Harry, summed it up best.

 _Bout damned time someone put him in his place. Good job, Kid._

Normally, Ellie doesn't like to be called _kid_ , but all the wall guards do it. After watching her beat a grown man's ass, they've all taken a shine to her. When Joel has guard duty, they ask about her. After a few nights, he starts bringing her around. She brings her guitar and uses the time to practice.

At first, they worry the sound might draw out the Infected. But she keeps it quiet, barely making a sound – more just going through the motions than anything else – and after a while no one really thinks about it. Sometimes she hums along. Sometimes she forgets about the guitar entirely and just talks with the guys, listens in, or helps Joel tell them stories about their travels. They never mention David, but Henry and Sam come up. That spawns stories of others lost to the Infected, or just to their own fears.

Then, one night when the rain is coming down hard enough that the guards are simply a formality, Harry brings out his own guitar. They stay inside the station, three men keeping an eye out on the surrounding woods while Joel, Ellie, and Harry have an impromptu jam session, using the rain to mask the sounds.

It makes Ellie happy, and that makes Joel smile.

/-/

Harry becomes something of a fixture, and it's not uncommon to see him with Ellie when Joel simply can't be. This one time, Joel is hung up with Tommy, patching up a hole in the wall. He asked Harry to get Ellie from school, and Harry obliged.

The classes aren't much. Mostly just a way to keep the younger ones occupied, teach them to read and write and do basic math, and keep the older kids interested in learning. In exchange for being allowed to do guard duty with Joel, Ellie has to take classes three days a week. Mostly she just reads books she finds interesting. It surprises absolutely no one that most of those books are basic physics or chemistry, or improvised weapons. Mostly she focuses on the useful things – she's a better gunsmith than the gunsmith Jackson has, and Harry knows the wall guards prefer to let her clean and care for their weapons than old Nate – but she picks other things up along the way. She likes sharing her knowledge with Joel and even Harry now.

Today, he finds her sitting on the road just outside the school, several books beside her and guitar in hand. This time she's not alone. There's a young man standing in front of her, small smile on his face. Harry doesn't know his name – never bothered with the kids much himself, not until Ellie showed up – but he doesn't really care for that smile. There's two other boys standing a fair distance away, laughing to themselves and watching, and Harry grimaces.

This is a hazing ritual he's very familiar with, even from before. Let's see how well Ellie deals with it. She's sharp – there's a good chance she'll call his bullshit.

"So – Ellie, right?" She hums acknowledgement, not looking up from the guitar. The boy smiles. "I'm Matt. It's nice to see a new face around here."

Ellie barely glances up at him. "I'm not that new anymore."

"Yeah, but you're always hanging around with that old fart, or the wall guards."

Oh, now that's the wrong thing to say. Her hand pauses on the strings, and she glares up at him full force. "He has a name. It's Joel."

Matt just nods, clearly not fazed by her tone. "Okay, okay. So – you wanna come over to my place with me? I could teach you some new songs. I play guitar too."

Ellie just focuses on him for a long moment, and even Harry is struck by the impression that she's reading everything that's crossing his mind. Slowly, her lip curls in a sneer. "No."

"Aw, don't be like that. I know it's scary being the new girl – I can show you around first, introduce you to some people. We don't even gotta do the lessons today. C'mon, whaddya say?" He flashes her a charming smile. Ellie simply glares right back. With a small sigh, she sets aside her guitar and stands up. She barely comes up to Matt's chest, but there's a force behind her small frame. She stands like someone who _knows_ he's full of shit, and _knows_ she can take his ass out.

After Amos, Harry will believe anything.

"Why? So you can pressure me into having sex with you? _Rape me_ if I don't agree?" Matt takes a step back, but Ellie matches him. Her lip curls in a sneer. "Boy, you ain't intimidating enough to scare me. I've killed meaner than you."

Matt glances over at his comrades, clearly at a loss now that his plan has gone to shit, and Harry decides now is a good time to step in. He takes a few steps forward, announcing his presence with heavy steps. Matt's gaze snaps over to him, and if possible, he goes even paler.

Good. Boy needs to be scared. "You ready to go, Ellie?" he asks.

"Yep." Ellie turns around, clearly dismissive, and gathers up her things, slinging the guitar over her back. She starts to follow Harry, but stops.

"Matt – I hear you pulling this shit on other girls, I'm gonna cut your dick off. Get me?" She doesn't wait for Matt to acknowledge her threat. She simply takes the lead.

When they've gotten a fair distance away, she turns to gaze to Harry, and he's looking at the Kid now, not a little soldier who just threatened someone's life. "So – I guess Joel got held up?"

Harry recognizes a dropped subject when he hears one. So he just smiles and lets it go.

/-/

Joel doesn't have guard duty that night, which he figures is a good thing. He sits on the couch in their living room, guitar in hand while he picks out an absentminded melody, and Ellie is curled up into his side, eyes closed but clearly not asleep. Her body is tense, small fists clenched in his flannel, and he suspects she's using the music to keep the monsters at bay.

Ellie likes to touch. It's not uncommon for her to sit with their arms pressing against each other, or her head or feet in his lap, or even leaning with her back against his. Cuddling, however – tucked underneath his arm and into his side like this – is usually reserved for after nightmares.

"You wanna talk about it?"

She shakes her head. "No."

There's a moment's pause as he plans his next questions, letting the gentle melody keep her reasonably calm. She's talking, just not about whatever is bothering her. She'll let him get away with asking a few generic questions, he knows – just enough to ascertain if she's in any kind of danger – and then she'll clam up altogether to fight her own demons. She won't come to him for help until she knows she can't win this fight alone.

He hates it, but he can't help but admire her for it.

"Did someone hurt you?"

That almost earns him a smirk. "No."

Not that he thought the answer was yes, but he likes being thorough. "Did they want to?"

"I think so."

Indirect threat, then. No way to tell _how_ indirect until he gets details, and Ellie won't provide those details. "Did Harry see what happened?" A nod. "Mind if I ask him later?" He feels the shudder roll through her frame before she nods again. "Okay, then." He'll make sure to ask his questions when Ellie is out of hearing range. Whatever happened, she doesn't need to relive it again.

Still, he has one last question. "What kind of nightmares ya reckon we're having tonight?"

There's a very long pause there. They've helped each other through their nightmares so often now that they're no longer _Ellie's_ or _Joel's_ , but _theirs._ It doesn't matter who's actually doing the dreaming. Ellie has her nightmares about that winter, and Joel knows the _what-ifs_ of the hospital are going to haunt him for a long time, but waking up and knowing the other is there, by their side, no matter what, always makes the monsters go away.

He's almost given up on her answering when she finally does. "The bad ones."

 _David._ And now he has a much better idea of what happened. Damned teenagers. He'll get the details from Harry later, and then maybe the two of them will do something about it, but right now, he has a higher priority. "Okay, then. We'll stay here as long as you need. Okay?"

She nods against his shirt. "Thank you."

"Always, baby girl."


End file.
